Many of you think you would never be in narcissistic relationships because you are smarter and stronger. Believe it or not, we have all come into contact with people with narcissist personalities. Identifying a narcissist is the first step in protecting yourself. However, there are people in life you cannot avoid even if you were fortunate enough to identify them. Coping with narcissistic people who you have little choice in having them in your life is another issue.
Identifying a Narcissist
- The Chameleon or supreme actor is the narcissist. The narcissist is a master of projecting themselves as someone everybody wants around and get to know.
- Charming and irresistible is the narcissist. The person’s personality is similar to a brightly shining flame, but one which will burn the unsuspecting.
- Needs attention in any way they can receive it with little corresponding positive feedback.
- Controlling and lacks empathy. Beware the narcissist who waits for your lack of confidence or weakness. They will take your trust and words, twist them in a way that you will feel like you are going crazy because you know it wasn’t that way…or was it?
- Narcissists have a sense of entitlement or superiority and show aggression when things are not going their way.
- They are the king, princess, or hero; they exaggerate their accomplishments. They overstate who they are and what they have done to impress others falsely.
- Disregard all forms of boundaries. Your personal space is theirs. Your accomplishments are little because they lifted you and you owe them. A conversation is not a two-way street because they control the conversation and interrupt when the conversation is not about them.
- The narcissist breaks rules, laws and anything which they feel does not pertain to them.
- Manipulation is an everyday way of life for a narcissist. When a child, partner or friend is in a relationship with a narcissist they are managed, groomed and steered toward being the way the narcissist wants as a way of elevating the narcissist.
Coping with a Narcissist
When you are in a relationship with a narcissist you may have no choice. This is true of a child, employee, family or members of organizations. Identifying the narcissist is the first step in your self-preservation.
Identify your co-dependency, because when you understand that your reactions to narcissists are what gives them power over you.
Set boundaries and stand your ground. Give yourself power instead of giving it up to a narcissist. Do not expect a narcissist to recognize you, your needs and accomplishments, because it is always about them.
When you suffer from a lack of self-confidence, indecision and neediness it sets you up for an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with a narcissist.
Build your own support system of wonderfully helpful people so you do not need the narcissist’s manipulations.
Co-dependency is a Narcissist’s Other Half
Coping with a narcissist is like juggling with fire. You love the feeling of juggling with the bright objects but when the blazing objects in your possession are grabbed by a narcissist someone gets burned.
Self-confidence is built by a healthy life without narcissists. If you were raised by a narcissist parent you are either broken, weak or lack self-confidence because the narcissist parent has made you their puppet or you are a narcissist taught by the best. You have to go out and learn a new normal and break the cycle.
Understand that the narcissist cannot return your affections, conversation, good wishes or gifts in the same way you do. Narcissists only give just enough to squash your hopes of a healthy relationship with them.
Stop the Cycle
In order to break the co-dependent/narcissist cycle, you need to recognize your own worth. Go out and establish relationships with others who value you and what you have to offer. Allow yourself indulgences in normal two-way conversations, accept invitations from others, ensure healthy relationships by skipping the narcissists who are the ultra-charming, putting you under their wing, and insulting “back-handed compliments” types. You deserve better. When you need a little extra help or someone to listen, contact me to begin a new healthy relationship.
